I was all ready for an inspiring “Let’s DO THIS, 2018!”  kind of post to come to me at any moment since January 1.  I’ve been waiting for a week now, and it isn’t coming, so I’m going with what I’ve got.  “Go with what you’ve got”?  I just thought about it, and I LIKE it!  We certainly can’t go with something that we don’t have, now can we?  We can “fake it til we make it” as I’ve stated before, but the “IT” still has to be there inside us somewhere even if it’s hiding.

I’m starting a New Year, Better Me kind of push tomorrow.  I even have a Facebook Challenge group!  I have been excited about it; however, I’ll be honest with you because that’s how these crazy mind-of-their-own blog posts of mine work…..I’m not really feeling energetic enough for a Better Me Challenge right this minute!  Maybe a good night’s sleep will fix that???  Seems like an awful lot to expect from one night of sleep.  But this “go with what you’ve got” motto is perking me up a little.  It seems doable.

I had a phone call from my son today that upset me and started me worrying– A LOT. That’s what all us moms and dads do, right?  Since the call (or actually the 2nd call along with a few texts), I’ve worked through being mad that Bobby isn’t here for me to talk to about this, crying, being sad that my mom isn’t here to tell me she loves me, being mad at myself and other relatively blameless people that this is happening, feeling sad and hopeless because I don’t have a good solution or fix for my son’s problems, crying, having a pity party, talking it out with a friend, feeling a little more hopeful and grateful for the people and resources that I DO have, making a list of stuff that might or might not help the situation, feeling overwhelmed because I’m supposed to be starting a new health & wellness regimen tomorrow along with accomplishing a bunch of other assorted crucial tasks and business stuff, and the crushing question, “How can I possibly do all of those things when I am so tired and down in the dumps from this other issue?”….. which all led me to this post, and “Go with what you’ve got”.

That’s all ANY of us can do!  I need to take my own advice and join my New Year’s Wellness Challenge group “just as I am” which is not where I’d like to be, but it’s where I am.  I wanted to be all perfect and gung ho and WooHoo! exercise, real food, non-toxic everything!!  Pretty sure that isn’t how I’m going to feel in the morning!!  BUT…..If I don’t start somewhere, how will I ever do better or inspire others to do better?   That is ultimately the goal I’d like to accomplish with my challenge:  Do better, feel better, and help others to do the same armed with information and support.

This blog has evolved into a place for me to write honestly about things that are difficult in my life.  And I’m okay with that even though it is somewhat embarrassing if I let myself think about it too much.  The therapeutic benefit of writing outweighs my embarrassment of being so horribly imperfect.  It feels REAL to me, and I like being honest in a world where it seems there is no honesty any more.  It’s almost impossible to discern the “fake news” from the real, and I don’t want my writing to be like that.  Everything I post or write, I double and triple fact check, even just simple quotes because they are often attributed to the wrong author.  So, I certainly don’t want to write about fake feelings.

My son is struggling, and he’s only 19.  I’m 49, and I’m struggling too.  I know there are folks of every age out there struggling as well.  Is there ever a time when we don’t?  And isn’t that kind of the point?  Life can be awful but can also be pure joy.  There are beautiful moments along with terrible pain.  Help is there for us if we will just recognize it and accept it.  We are to be strong and trust in God to help us.  We can’t possibly have all the answers (as nice as that would be sometimes–like right NOW).  Life is a journey of perseverance, trust, and faith in things that are often very difficult in which to believe.  But we must continue to have faith and “go with what we’ve got” which sometimes doesn’t feel like very much.

I have hope for this New Year 2018.  I have hope for myself as I evolve and as I know better that I can DO better in my daily habits.  I have hope that I can help my son and he can help me.  I have hope that we ALL can both provide and find support and comfort through a greater power and each other.  Some days that may mean giving all we have to someone else; and some days we may end up taking, but let’s endeavor to encourage and love each other just a little bit more.  It’s hard to know what someone’s “got” on any given day.