Facing Challenges, Uncategorized

Today’s the day.

One of the days I’ve been both dreading and also sort of looking forward to is here.  Today is one year since my husband passed away, and November 14 will be one year for my mom.  I kind of just want to get these monumental one year anniversaries over, but there’s also fear that once the one year mark has passed, people will think I’m supposed to act or feel a certain way.    This particular post is not going to be about how I feel though.  It’s more of a memorial.

If you’ve read any of my posts, you probably already know about B’s love of Bruce Springsteen, but our life had SO much other music in it too.  There aren’t many memories that do not include music in one way or another.  From spirited family “Name that Tune” games to our own personal traditions of morning coffee with jazz and late afternoons on the patio listening to everything from Classic Country and Rock to Motown or R&B with a little bad dancing thrown in, there is always a soundtrack to the images in my head.  Listening to the cover band on the pier in Garden City, South Carolina; singing along in a piano bar in San Antonio; dancing to surprise guest Tracy Lawrence in a small venue in downtown Nashville; and the Springsteen concerts…….    Oh, and B’s made up songs are renowned in our family.   His lyrics usually made me laugh, but there were a few off-color ones that brought feigned disapproval.  His habit of singing his newest rendition over and over and over and over again could also be a tiny bit annoying at times!

I have a very strong memory of the afternoon we arrived in Houston for B’s first visit to MD Anderson.  He had been told he had less than 3 months to live, and MDA was our last chance.  We sat in our hotel room as the afternoon turned into night just listening to Alan Jackson sing the old hymns we both loved.  No talking; just listening peacefully for over an hour.  We had almost 2 1/2 precious years together AFTER that night.  A lifetime of memories set to music in just the relatively few years we were together.

I’m posting links to the absolutely wonderful videos that my bonus daughter Kasey made for B’s memorial service.  I can’t watch them often; however, every time that I do, besides smiling with the tears rolling, I am also so impressed with all the time and energy she put into them.  Much time was spent poring over countless pictures and old home movies then figuring out the technology to create these incredible keepsakes.  She did an amazing job capturing her dad’s charm and personality, and I will always treasure them while also appreciating her effort during such a terribly difficult time.  Bobby was her rock; I wish that I could help more with the hole he left in her life.  Kasey reminds me so much of him in so many ways.  I’m very grateful that she along with my bonus grandson and son-in-law are part of my life.

The music in these videos was also carefully chosen from B’s large repertoire of beloved artists and genres.   Again, I credit Kasey for doing an amazing job.  The Springsteen songs were not only perfect for the video, but also some of his favorites. The Beach Boys and Jimmy Buffet were favorite “patio” artists! “Waitin’ for a Sunny Day” was one of  “our” songs.  “At Last” by the unparalleled Etta James was the song we danced to the first night that he realized he loved me.  Seems like a very short time ago.

The password to both of these videos is Bobby23 if you’d like to watch and listen.  The Bobby video is approximately 18 minutes and the Bobby & Quendy one is about 3 minutes. 🙂

Bobby’s video


Bobby & Quendy’s video