Hard to believe that I’m at a hospital on our anniversary, and it’s not with B! Hard to believe that 7 years ago we were in Belize having the time of our lives, blissfully unaware of what was about to hit.

We thought we had beat the hard stuff, overcome the obstacles, and were on the downhill side to our happily ever after. We went scuba diving in the morning and got married in the afternoon. A great start to the rest of our lives.

We had been through some “stuff” when it came to love and ended up together. You know that song by Rascal Flatts, “Bless the Broken Road”? That song was us. We’d been together a few years by the time we got married and figured we would just be “rolling home” to each other from here on out.

How utterly wrong we were.

Now, today on my wedding anniversary, I’m here with my daddy as he has long overdue back surgery. I’m very grateful and glad to be here to support him, but it still seems totally wrong that we are here without my mom or Bobby. I can’t imagine how much my dad misses my mom. B and I only KNEW each other for 11 short years, and sometimes I don’t think I can stand it. How my dad maintains his positive attitude and zest for life is amazing after losing the love of his life–fifty-seven years of marriage and having been in love with her since they were in 8th grade!!!

I am proud that I’m his daughter, and some of that optimism rubbed off on me. Whatever do folks do when they can’t find a tiny bit of light? It scares me to think about how awful that must be.

Remembering is HARD!! Sometimes I think I’m getting better at it, but then I realize that I am NOT. I’m just getting adept at dodging the memories at inopportune times.

Today, at the hospital, I’ve found myself recalling SO much. It’s weird how a place that most people try to avoid, can trigger such good memories (and unbearable ones too). Maybe because it’s my anniversary, or maybe just because, I’ve had to take more than a few deep breaths today. And it’s not even one of “our” hospitals.

My dad was able to walk the hall almost immediately after surgery! Yay!! I’m so excited and proud for him. But I almost lost it while walking with him because it reminded me of the miles and miles B and I have walked in the halls of IU-PUI, Mercy Fort Smith, and MD Anderson. Like seriously, that stubborn man (not unlike my dad) would get out of bed and GO as soon as someone gave him the okay (or even if they didn’t). He treated it like a competition, and he was going to WIN! Pushing a pole, or two with multiple pumps, oxygen, whatever. I remember one time when he pushed two poles with multiple pumps and something like 12 bags of stuff running , plus a big ole TV monitor that I pushed in a wheelchair. It was comical, and it felt like a parade. It was somewhat ridiculous, but isn’t being ridiculous with someone you love part of the fun in life?!

I knew at the time that we were making memories even though we were often tired and scared, but of course, I couldn’t see the future and know how incredibly precious those memories would become. I had the ability most days to be optimistic no matter the odds, and he had the ability most days to make the most mundane extremely comical. We were a good team!

So, as I prepare to spend the night in this hospital, Happy Anniversary to my husband! I know he knows how much I love him, but I wonder if he knows how much I miss him? ❤️